Is it racist to date only black persons?!

Is it racist to date only black persons?! Definitely not, I believe, and was very surprised when I read an article by a young black woman titled “White people, only dating black people is not progressive – it’s racist”. The author criticizes one of her white male friends, and calls him a racist, because he “only dates black girls”. She tells us how she “felt like an accessory” after seeing a photo of her white male friend with his new black girlfriend on social media, for she thought she would have been “the interchangeable black girl in the picture” or “an extra black girl in the picture” if she had a sexual relationship with her male friend. 

Sexual enjoyment can only happen if one feels a strong sexual attraction to their sexual partner. Human beings are made of “soul” AND body, and bodily characteristics significantly affect sexual attraction. One’s age, weight, height, the shape of the different parts of their body (including face), their skin colour, hair colour/style, etc. all may have an impact on our sexual feelings. Just as someone may feel sexually attracted only to blonde women, slim/overweight women or women with small/big breasts, someone else may feel attracted only to black women. This doesn’t mean that for these persons, when choosing a sexual partner, non-physical characteristics do not count or that they are using their sexual partners as “accessories”. I can’t imagine that the male person criticized in the mentioned article would be willing to have a sexual relationship with any (!) “black girl” just because she was female, young and black, even if her physical characteristics would match his preferences.

I hope nobody would accuse me of sexism because I date only men!

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