Move to Germany

I have moved back to Germany. I'm really sad about leaving the UK, but the after-Corona conditions left me with no other choice. I had a great time in the UK in the last four years, because I loved the country and its people. Now I have to come to terms with my new old life in Germany. Somehow I will manage it. 

I hope that I don't give up writing in English, as I write regularly in Persian and have decided to begin writing in German again, too.

Mr, Mrs – bestowing respect to ‘ordinary’ people

Today, for many of us, the honorifics Mr and Mrs may seem a thing of the past or even reactionary. But in fact, applying Mr and Mrs to ‘ordinary’ people is a sign of the de-hierarchization of the society and a step towards equality. According to Wikipedia, “historically, mister was applied only to those above one's own status ic they had no higher title such as Sir or my lord in the English class system. That understanding is now obsolete, as it was gradually expanded as a mark of respect to those of equal status and then to all men without a higher style.”

High-heels – a symbol of sexual emancipation

Though most feminists see high-heeled shoes as an instrument of objectification of women and their subordination, I think that they are a symbol of sexual emancipation. In a world where female sexuality was denied completely, the introduction of high-heels, among other modern outfit articles, emphasised female sexuality and encouraged women’s sexual freedom. In a world where women were invisible and inaudible, high-heels made women not only more visible, but also more audible in public, even if only sexually. This was a great improvement if we consider how restricted the society was. That still today many women are subordinate is not due to their high-heels, bikinis and mini-skirts, but because of the long history of female subordination which cannot be erased from a society’s psyche in only a few decades or even centuries. 

The Arab of the Future (book recommendation)

“The Arab of the Future – A Childhood in Middle East” is a graphic memoir in four volumes by the French cartoonist and filmmaker Riad Sattouf. The first volume was published in 2014 in France. 

Sattouf was born in 1978 in France, to a French mother and Syrian father. He spent his childhood in Libya and Syria, before returning to France. From 2004 to 2014, he worked for the satirical French weekly Charlie Hebdo, which has been the target of two terrorist attacks, in 2011 and 2015.

In his book “The Arab of the Future”, Sattouf narrates his experiences as a child in Libya, Syria and France in the 1970s and 1980s. Unlike Marjane Satrapi’s “Persepolis”, which gives the impression that all Iranians have always been in favour of music, dance, parties, alcohol, sexual freedoms and gender equality, and that only the Iranian government is hostile towards Western freedoms and rights, Sattouf’s work uncovers with frankness and honesty the extreme brutality, cruelty and backwardness that govern the daily life and social relationships in many Muslim countries. 

Although the language of “The Arab of the Future” is plain and its pages contain more cartoon than text, Sattouf has been very successful in transferring his knowledge of the political history of Middle East to the reader. The book’s political facts, together with Sattouf’s sociological perspective in recounting the daily violence prevalent in Muslim societies make the reader to distance himself/herself from the irrational idea that suggests many Muslim countries such as Libya, Syria or Iran suddenly, and without any societal cause got there where they are today.

“The Arab of the Future” has been translated into 16 languages. 

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The link between diversity and loneliness

In many societies around the world, the number of people who feel lonely has been increasing constantly. In January 2018, the British government under Theresa May extended the remit of the Minister for Sport and Civil Society to include loneliness. “Many media outlets referred to the then holder of this post, Tracey Crouch, as the 'Minister for Loneliness'”. In 2019, Mims Davies, the then “Loneliness Minister” launched a new campaign “to tackle the stigma of feeling alone”. She called loneliness “one of the biggest health challenges our country faces”. 

Different studies come to different estimates of the number of people who feel lonely, partly because they do not use the same indicators of loneliness. They also differ on what they see as the causes of loneliness. I think that the increasing diversity is one of the main causes of an increase in loneliness. The ongoing process of modernisation, liberalisation and individualisation leads to more and more diversity. Today, diversity refers to much more than ethnicity and religion. Sexual orientation, today, covers much more than being either heterosexual or homosexual – the category Gay/Lesbian developed itself to LGBT, and after a few years to LGBTQ. Today, gender is a matter of how we ourselves define ourselves, and it includes with everyday more and more categories. Yet, diversity means much more than these mentioned categories we are asked about when we fill in official forms and documents. Today, it is also increasingly about lifestyles and attitudes which separate us from each other. 

Never before, there has been such a focus on identity and self. We are all the time encouraged to be “ourselves”. Individuality and authenticity are praised and seen as one of the most important goals in our lives. Today, even among family members everyone is different regarding their attitudes, behaviour, lifestyles, goals and expectations.

The more we have in common with a person, the closer we can become to him/her. Similarities which bring us closer include socioeconomic background, age, gender, ethnicity, attitudes towards religion, family background (e.g. conservative vs. “modern”), social and political attitudes, lifestyle, our past experiences in different settings, our past and present problems, expectations, behaviour, etc. In numbers, there are many people similar to us in cities and towns, but the possibility that we meet them is not very strong, especially at work where we spend most of our time.

Another obstacle to finding friends is that today we have much higher expectations regarding the quality of our lives and relationships. Relationships mean to us much more than exchanging material help, they are more about understanding, empathy and mental closeness, which require a high level of similarity between individuals.


Some YouGov articles and survey results:

YouGov articles & data on Loneliness
https://yougov.co.uk/topics/lifestyle/explore/topic/Loneliness

Young Britons are the most lonely
https://yougov.co.uk/topics/relationships/articles-reports/2019/10/03/young-britons-are-most-lonely

Personality and loneliness: Is Britain a country of the lonely?
https://yougov.co.uk/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2019/11/26/personality-and-loneliness-britain-nation-lonely

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