In many societies around the world, the number of people who feel lonely has been increasing constantly. In January 2018, the British government under Theresa May extended the remit of the Minister for Sport and Civil Society to include loneliness. “Many media outlets referred to the then holder of this post, Tracey Crouch, as the 'Minister for Loneliness'”. In 2019, Mims Davies, the then “Loneliness Minister” launched a new campaign “to tackle the stigma of feeling alone”. She called loneliness “one of the biggest health challenges our country faces”.
Different studies come to different estimates of the number of people who feel lonely, partly because they do not use the same indicators of loneliness. They also differ on what they see as the causes of loneliness. I think that the increasing diversity is one of the main causes of an increase in loneliness. The ongoing process of modernisation, liberalisation and individualisation leads to more and more diversity. Today, diversity refers to much more than ethnicity and religion. Sexual orientation, today, covers much more than being either heterosexual or homosexual – the category Gay/Lesbian developed itself to LGBT, and after a few years to LGBTQ. Today, gender is a matter of how we ourselves define ourselves, and it includes with everyday more and more categories. Yet, diversity means much more than these mentioned categories we are asked about when we fill in official forms and documents. Today, it is also increasingly about lifestyles and attitudes which separate us from each other.
Never before, there has been such a focus on identity and self. We are all the time encouraged to be “ourselves”. Individuality and authenticity are praised and seen as one of the most important goals in our lives. Today, even among family members everyone is different regarding their attitudes, behaviour, lifestyles, goals and expectations.
The more we have in common with a person, the closer we can become to him/her. Similarities which bring us closer include socioeconomic background, age, gender, ethnicity, attitudes towards religion, family background (e.g. conservative vs. “modern”), social and political attitudes, lifestyle, our past experiences in different settings, our past and present problems, expectations, behaviour, etc. In numbers, there are many people similar to us in cities and towns, but the possibility that we meet them is not very strong, especially at work where we spend most of our time.
Another obstacle to finding friends is that today we have much higher expectations regarding the quality of our lives and relationships. Relationships mean to us much more than exchanging material help, they are more about understanding, empathy and mental closeness, which require a high level of similarity between individuals.
Some YouGov articles and survey results:
YouGov articles & data on Loneliness
https://yougov.co.uk/topics/lifestyle/explore/topic/Loneliness
Young Britons are the most lonely
https://yougov.co.uk/topics/relationships/articles-reports/2019/10/03/young-britons-are-most-lonely
Personality and loneliness: Is Britain a country of the lonely?
https://yougov.co.uk/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2019/11/26/personality-and-loneliness-britain-nation-lonely
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